This was a spoken word poem that I had written and performed on February 25, 2016. Although the performance was recent, the poem was written during a time that now seems quite foreign to me.
You came to me when I least expected it.
You, a person I needed,
when I didn’t even realize I was looking.
You, a person to give me meaning and purpose,
to help me understand myself
as we work to understand you.
You are the gift that Nature brought my way,
A beauty, a joy, a part of me.
And as I admire the immenseness of the universe,
I have been so taken away by you,
That I could hardly recognize the blinders I had put up to fix my gaze,
until you walked away and suddenly there was nothing left to see.
And now I cannot get you out of my head
I cannot get you out of my head
Because every second my heart beats,
Like blood, my love flows through my veins and reaches every inch of my body
In every moment, I am filled with your very essence.
And while I lie helpless and useless,
Unable to get you out of my mind,
I cry because every second that I think of you is torture.
a blatant reminder of what once was and what will never again be.
I cry because I’m clinging onto these faded photographs of memories that are crumbling away with time,
Because my feet still remember every moment we’ve walked together,
And my heart yearns for the times it would go off beat at the very sound of your laugh.
I cry because you do not understand.
I want you to feel this – the endless obsessions, the thoughts, the memories, the pain – I WANT YOU TO FEEL MY PAIN.
I cry because this is something I could never wish upon you.
But it is I who drove myself crazy and now I’m driving myself back.
So let the dust collect on these memories and become Band-Aids to these raw wounds that once needed healing,
As I allow this wave to finally reach its conclusion.
because as great as it was to ride together on our tide of memories,
I’ve got more to see and much more to do –
Cause life keeps on moving and bringing new waves of experiences, and that only leaves me with two options:
I can stay here and drown in these salty reminiscences
Or get back on my board and keep on surfing.
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