I have secretly always wanted to have a blog. I figured it would be a perfect way for me to express various thoughts, feelings, experiences, and insights in a manner that is available for those who may be interested while also not as bound by time and space as conventional conversation. However, what I’m starting to realize as I write this first post is that one of the hardest things to accept about writing and publishing your thoughts online is that it is not perfect. This post will never be perfect.
And that’s okay.
I suppose what I began to realize is that it has to be okay, because, in a way, that’s how life works. While we can choose to not write because we’re waiting for the right idea, opportunity, or moment to create the “perfect blog post”, that is not a luxury that we have in our daily lives.
As long as we are alive, we cannot choose to start writing “the book of our lives” when the perfect moment, time, or opportunity comes along. We are continually writing that book by simply existing. And the issue with being alive is that no matter what image of ourselves we project – we are flawed. We think things that we are ashamed of, say things we regret, and do things that we don’t want to be associated with. And yet, we continue to live, don’t we? No matter how imperfect we are and how many mistakes we make – do we not choose to keep going, perhaps even resolving to improve those imperfections at every step?
Now, if my writing is meant to be a representation of who I am and I am someone who is flawed, doesn’t it seem absurd to ever expect my writing to be perfect? And if my attitude towards life, despite all my imperfections, is one that insists on continuing to live and improve, shouldn’t my attitude towards writing be the same?
The reality is that my writing will never be what I want it to be. It’s never going to be the perfect representation that I want it to be – because even if I perfectly capture all that I think and feel – not only will no one be able to fully grasp what I have written because we all perceive the world in different ways, but the content itself will also lose its validity, because I would have become someone different by the end of writing that very piece.
And that’s true of everything that I’ve ever written – whether it’s thoughts I scribbled down on a piece of paper, a year-old Facebook post, or a blog neatly typed-up on a WordPress – it only takes a second glance after I’ve written it for me to find an imperfection or realize something that I did not before.
But I refuse to let that stop me any longer.
So, I take this blog as an opportunity for me to capture my imperfections and keep a catalog of my perpetual change. May you enjoy every post as a celebration and marking of my ongoing growth on the quest towards something resembling perfection. However, please understand that while each post may provide you with a glimpse of what goes on inside my head – it will only give you a taste of who I once was and will never again be.
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